Photo: Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

If we lived in a just world, our reality would look exponentially different. Beyoncé would’ve won 2023 Album of the Year, everyone would leave Rachel Zegler alone, and the U.S. would stop deporting people without due process. If you’ve got a moral compass, it’s enough to fill you with an unending well of despair. But, sometimes, whatever higher power above takes pity on us and gives us a fleeting moment of karmic justice.

This weekend, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem (you know, the one who killed her family dog and went full glam to a detention center) had her purse stolen at a restaurant in D.C. According to CNN, camera footage shows a “white male wearing a medical mask” making off with Noem’s bag, which had “Noem’s driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash.” I have no idea who carries that much cash around or why they’d need so much on hand, but the DHS told Newsweek via email that the massive wad of money was meant to “treat her family to dinner, activities, and Easter gifts.” Apparently Noem has never heard of a debit card or Venmo.

While we don’t condone stealing, you have to admit there’s something borderline cosmic about someone who’s taken so much away from so many people — dignity from the detained, family from the unjustly arrested, compassion from the wrongfully deported — to have something taken from her. Luckily for her, Noem’s items are easily and quickly replaceable. That’s more than we can say for those she’s condemned to detention in El Salvador.