Well, it’s all over. Congratulations to Amaya, winner of Love Island USA season seven and self-described “Dominican Cinderella” — because of course Amaya would come up with the perfect metaphor to describe her win. And it is a perfect metaphor, if you think about it.
Much like the Disney version, our Dominican Cinderella has a generosity of spirit, upbeat attitude, and the personality of someone who befriends small household pests like mice and pigeons. Ace is the wicked stepmother who mistreats Amaya at the beginning, and Austin and Zak With a K are the stepsisters, kicking her when she’s already down. But with the help of some sparkly shoes and a fairy godmother (America), Amaya finally gets her happy ending and walks away from the villa with a new boyfriend and $50,000.
And thank God, because the last thing this season needed was another shocking twist. At this point, all America really wants to see from Love Island USA is Amaya Papaya finding love, and luckily, Bryan shapes up to be a real prince of a guy. The final week of Love Island always involves a lot of filler, and this season was no different.
Amaya is gushing about her “fairy tale” and her “Prince Charming” before, during, and after her final date with Bryan, for which she has intentionally styled her hair to resemble the Disney Cinderella. While the other islanders get sailboats and private islands and live singers for their final date, Bryan and Amaya are treated to Girl Dinner on the couch and a photo album full of baby pictures, and it’s still the most romantic of them all. By the end of it, they are officially exclusive and planning their first truffle-pasta-and-wine date on the outside. “You’re my peace to this madness,” Bryan says to Amaya in his final speech. “We are two misunderstood people who understand each other.”
So no, it wasn’t a surprise when Bryan and Amaya won, but happy endings rarely are. It’s the tragedies that take one by surprise. Not that Huda and Chris’s breakup is much of a surprise — or a tragedy, for that matter — but I didn’t think they’d end it with just one day left in the villa.
Despite Bryan and Amaya’s attempts to re-create The Parent Trap, and Ace’s defense of Huda, and Chris’s family’s support, and Huda’s sisters’s approval, and America’s votes, and a final date involving a floating dining table and a live singer, Chris and Huda could not get over their physical-affection issues. They’ve been talking about this for days, and nobody can figure out who wants more affection than they’re getting and who is pulling back, so Huda decides to call it right there over the candlelit dinner while Chris takes several swigs of Champagne.
It feels like a lot of wasted effort on everyone’s part, but Huda declares herself changed for the better after the experience. The night of the finale, Huda’s whole attitude is that of a recent divorcee at a wedding who is absolutely determined not to be a downer. Chris, sadly, is still very much giving jilted lover. To wit, Chris tells Huda, “You look amazing.” Huda, addressing the group, responds, “You guys clean up nice!” Their speeches could have gone very badly, but finale night is for good vibes only. Huda tells Chris he taught her the value of an emotional relationship over a physical one. Chris showers Huda with compliments on her character, humor, and her dimples. He concludes, “I hope this letter has touched your heart and your soul as it has for me writing it,” and now I finally feel like I know what it’s like to be a Nicolandria shipper.
Nic and Olandria become increasingly into each other as they discover an army of online Nicolandria shippers who propel them to second place. Perhaps this is why their finale date has them on a literal scavenger hunt for comments of approbation from the public, which the show has stuffed in glass bottles and hidden on the beach. I still don’t believe this is much more than a showmance, but I’ll acknowledge that everyone is doing their best to sell it to me. Olandria must have her finger on the pulse of BookTok, because she keeps repeating the phrase “friends to lovers.” Nic, meanwhile, is filling in lore as they go, reminding Olandria that he kissed her during the blindfold challenge on night one. On Family Day, they learn that their moms, at least, are seemingly Team Nicolandria, which allows Olandria to repeatedly assure Nic, “My mom loves you, bro.” To which Nic can respond with equal enthusiasm, “My mom really wants you to come for dinner.”
Iris and Pepe finish in fourth place because, well, nobody knows anything about them. I know their backgrounds must be compatible only because their families both arrive for Family Day dressed for brunch at the same country club. And I know that Pepe definitely wasn’t actually sailing that boat by himself because he was able to sit on the deck and pop Champagne and never once screamed at Iris to pull in the jib sheet or move to the starboard side or grab the wheel. The most they have going for them right now is geography because they both live in the general Los Angeles area.
Ace and Chelley were dumped from the island before the final-date day, so it’s a good thing they got to spend their last night together in the Hideaway. There’s no sex, but Ace does draw Chelley a heart in the sand and then asks her to be exclusive with him, which is about as intimate as it gets for these two. It was not enough to keep them in the villa, however. They are dumped via place card under a domed dinner-plate cover, which is an inelegant way to go even for Love Island USA.
The good news is that, other than Huda and Chris’s big breakup, they didn’t miss much. After the speeches are read and tears are wiped away on the final night, Ariana arrives to give the islanders one last pep talk and deliver the results. Bryan and Amaya win, Bryan pulls the money card, and he decides to split the cash because of course he does. Now everybody, go jump in the pool.
• “Frontal lobe must’ve developed.” —Nic
• “The birds are chirping and the girls are twerking.” —Ace
• “Them bugs be mad disrespectful.” —Huda
• “I’m over here thinking R&R means Rolls-Royce.” —Amaya
• “My man gotta be strong enough to carry me and my emotional baggage.” —Amaya
• “Do you know how to ride a boat?” —Iris
• “I got some soap for you when you get home.” —Olandria’s mom
• “Real men cry.” —Ariana
